Why am I here?

It is Easter weekend and everything is kind of closed down here in Swaziland. So we are forced to take a break … a much needed break. A break to enjoy our new home, to relax and to get my thoughts together again.

It has been a busy 3 months since the start of this year and suddenly I feel tired. I feel like I have been too busy working and running around and there has been no time to sit down with my husband or with God. And I long to spend time with both. I feel like shouting out, “What am I doing? Why am I here?” In all honesty, I even feel like quiting; I feel like it will be the easy way out. But God doesn’t give us the easy way out!

He tells me to return to my First Love. He tells me to return to Him and to stay close to Him. I am here because He called me here. He called me to serve Him and to love Him; and then to love the people of Swaziland. He wants to be more important than anything else. He wants to be number one in my life. But He also wants to be my Strenth and my Help. Without Him I cannot do it.

Yesterday I read in Ezekiel 16 and in verse 8 God tells Jerusalem, “I spread the corner of My garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you … and you became Mine.” Somehow (I believe it is the Spirit) this reminded me of Boaz and Ruth and I went and read it. In Ruth 3:9 Ruth asks Boaz to spread the corner of his garment over her. And not long after that they got married and she became his.

Wow. It is my desire for God to spread the corner of His garment over me. I want more of Him. I want to walk daily in intimacy with Him. Even when things changes too fast around me. Or when I get tired. Or when I am leading a trip. I need His love to protect me and to comfort me. And I need His love to love the people around me even more; to love them with a deeper love.  
 

Happy (late) Easter!

Kriek