"Our past is our past. We must forget and try to move on." (Coming from one of our carepoint boys going through the Lost&Found course.)

Because of this viewpoint, many people find themselves unable to cope with new emotional challenges that come their way. Every new challenge is a painful throw back, reminding them of the unresolved emotions related to the pains of the past. Part of the aim of the Lost&Found course is to assist young people to revisit past painful experiences and enable them to grow through those experiences. Revisiting these 'old wounds' is sometimes seen as unnecessary opening up of the wounds. However, as with our Christian walk with God, where He starts working in the deepest part of our heart, the course directs our attentions to where healing is needed. Wounds need to be cleansed completely to avoid infections. Once cleaned, the healing can start from the inside out. Similar, when we allow ourselves to think, talk, and feel, with relation to the hurts in our lives, we allow our hearts and spirits to heal healthy.

In some of the cases in the groups, we have heard stories of an 11-year-old boy who have lost his father, brother and grandmother, and who does not know whom his mother is. In other cases we have had young people in our groups who struggled to read and write. When one such young girl (12) was given the change to talk about the lost in her life, she said the following, "My mother got very ill and could no longer work or earn money, we did not have money to pay my school fees and I could no longer attend school. What I have lost is my friends, who are still at school, but now I feel rejected by them; I feel I don't belong and I am very alone. This makes me feel very much of pain.'

We have all lost loved ones or experienced some significant life changing circumstances. And for us here in Swaziland it is becoming a bigger reality every day! After loosing Mamba last year, we realized that none of us was really equipped to help the kids at his carepoint deal with their emotions. (Or maybe even ourselves!)

Of course it didn't stop with Mamba. In January a little girl at one of our other carepoints was shot dead at night in her own home. And two weeks ago another little girl was run over by a car on her way to school and she (and her dad) died on the scene. Two days ago we read in the local newspaper of two teenage girls whose bodies were found somewhere in a field; only discovering later that one of the girls was the daughter of a lady cooking at one of our city carepoints. We are also seeing the wide-ranging impact and effect of AIDS more and more.

There are many heartbreaking stories like these that I can tell you about, but the ongoing question is: How do we handle all these deaths and the related emotions that go with loss, without being overwhelmed, and feeling almost paralyzed by the vastness of the issue.  Can we pretend like nothing has happened - too scared to feel, because if I do I might just lie on the floor, curl up in a little ball, start crying, and not get up again.... How do the kids handle this?

Swazi's do not show a lot of emotion, but that doesn't mean that they don't feel it, nor that they aren't hurting, or are somehow resistant to the things that has happened in their lives. They have all lost loved ones and have experienced some form of neglect, abandonment and rejection. In fact, more that 70% of our carepoint kids have been rejected or abandoned in some way at some stage in their short little lives. How do we help them deal with all their cropped up emotions and feelings of worthlessness?

Well, we trust that we have been able to start this process of 'dealing with pain' through our project we started this week. I am excited to say that yesterday we started our first day of grief training with the help of an old friend of mine! Actually, JoE (Ettienne) used to be my team leader in 1998 and now he trains local community volunteers in South Africa to present the Lost&Found courses in their own communities. Lost&Found is an emotional support program, presented in small groups, focusing on enabling young people to identify and work through feelings and emotions related to grief and loss and to help them cope with the life changing events related to loss.   Lost&Found is run by a non-profit called facingUP. Not only do we have JoE here with us, but we also have a couple from England. Pete and Many English present the Lost&Found courses in England (UK) and are visiting us to assist with the presentation of the groups.

During the next three weeks we will be presenting L&F groups to four staff groups and four carepoint groups. In total 72 people will be enabled to grow in the their own understanding of their loss, they will be equipped to have a better understanding for other people in their communities, and gain insight into what others are experiencing. Already - even though we have barely started - there have been many stories from those attending that have struck the emotional cords of all in attendance. We believe that, as we continue to meet together, over the next 5 sessions, that everyone involved will grow through their respective experiences of loss, and emerge from dealing with their pain stronger and more resilient.

I am so excited to share these photos with you today! Since the end of last year the prices of food here in Swaziland has really jumped between 35% and 55%! So needless to say that this had a very big influence on the Care Points and on our food bill every month.

 So we have started a project to grow our own food, and this week we were able to deliver our first maize and 5^th load of Cabbages. We  have send a truck with 750 Cabbages down to Nsoko yesterday and every kid got a cabbage to take home. So here are some pictures!!

Another year has flown by and today we were meeting to discuss how we will be doing 30 Christmas parties (THIRTY!!!!!!) before December. We will kick off on November 8^th and the last one will be November 30^th. (And in between we also need to celebrate Thanksgiving and Clara's 1st birthday!!) So needless to say, it is going to be a lot of fun, but also very hectic. For us it is so important that we do this well, because these precious children need to know that there are people who care for them and want them to have a great Christmas. And even more important, they need to be able to celebrate Jesus and what He has done for each one of us.

We are planning to give the kids a good meal, some fruit, donuts, chips and a gift. We want them to have fun, play and celebrate Christmas, and feel special! (95% of them will not get a gift at home .... or even eat a special meal on Christmas day!)  So here is our challenge .....  We only have funds for the kids with 'special friends' in the States and Canada who has been sending money regularly, but we have a bunch of kids who are still waiting to be sponsored. We really want these kids to be part of the celebrations! We cannot (and will not) send them away. So will you please consider helping us to make this a special time for all of the kids at our carepoints. Let's all celebrate Christmas together ... even if we are celebrating Christmas in November!

If you would like to make an online payment, you can click on the right of this screen where it says 'Support Jumbo and Kriek'. Delete Jumbo's name and type in BENSWAZI. And follow the rest of the instructions. You are also welcome to email either Scott Borg ( scottborg@adventures.org ) at AIM or Ben Savage ( bsavage@hopechest.org ) at Children's HopeChest and ask them how to send your gift. Please email us at jumbo@adventures.org with the amount of your gift so that we can access the money in a timely fashion.

Thanks again that we know we can make this need known to you. Thanks for all the support this year.

I stopped at a carepoint ..... no bright smile welcoming me ......

I identified a body ...

I smelled death ...

I listened to the heart breaking wailing of a young mother burying a child ... for the second time ...

I sang God's praises with His people .... 'cause He IS still a good God ...

I saw our Swazi staff being the pillars in the communities they work in ....

Bringing hope to the hopeless ....

Bringing joy in a time of sadness ...

Being light in the darkness ...

Bringing the gospel of Truth ....

Speaking life ...

Bringing comfort ...

I giggled at something stupid .... 'cause if I didn't, I would break down and cry and not get up again ...

I walked with mourners to an open grave ....

I watched the sun come up over an African funeral .... knowing that there will always be a new tomorrow, a new day ....

I prayed that this will bring glory to God ... in the lives of the family ... and the lives of many people who have been touched by the life and death of this boy

I heard a story of a 7 year old boy who used to get the kids together at his homestead and preached for them .... getting them together for prayer each morning before school ....

Today has been a very hard day for me; for all of us. Maybe one of my darkest days since we have started working here in Swaziland. I feel like packing up and leaving this country. I feel like I am done! Done fighting a loosing, hopeless battle. I am heartbroken, I am speechless, I am so angry. I don't even now how to share this with you. We live in an ugly world, and I no longer want to be part of this.

My favorite little boy, the cutest little thing I fell in love with in 2007, little Mamba, went missing today and was found dead in the bushes a few hours later. He was only 7 years old.

The cold facts: He was killed by his stepfather. Hung in a tree. Then the stepfather committed suicide. Coward!

I don't understand any of this. It is so unfair! An innocent boy? Why?

Hmmmmm, I remember ..... you crept into my heart that first day at the carepoint. You with your bright amazing smile. You were so cute and chubby (and almost always naked!). Your name meant 'snake', and your grandmother was warning me that you will bite me, just like a snake. But you smiled at me and jumped in my lap. You never bit me .... but you did try to bite the other kids that came too close to me. We shared many fun moments after that! Playing, sharing candy, laughing. Your face always light up when you saw me stop at the carepoint. You were the highlight of my visits at your carepoint. You became a legend.

We want to thank all of you for all the financial support, encouraging messages and prayers we received. We were blown away by the reactions we received and by God's amazing ways of provision.

After an eleven and a half hour surgery (instead of 4 and a half), Jumbo's dad is doing great! They moved him out of the ICU this afternoon into a normal ward. He is already walking on his own, watching Wimbledon tennis and he might even be discharged on Saturday.

Four weeks ago Jumbo's dad went for surgery to freeze a nerve around his jaw that has been giving him trouble. At first we thought the surgery was successful and he had no pain for two weeks, but then the pain came back and it was worst than ever. He can hardly talk, sleep or eat, because the pain is excruciating and constant. Friday he went to see a neurosurgeon, and the neurosurgeon immediately saw what was wrong.

Bottomline .... He needs surgery in his brain where they will have to collapse part of his brain to get to the affected area. Then they need to put a cushion between the hyper sensitive nerve and the blood vein. The shocking part of this diagnosis is that this surgery will cost nearly $30 000 (R200 000). Jumbo's dad has no health insurance, so we can only trust God for the money.

We cannot let Jumbo's dad live like this, so we are looking at all options to see how we can make this happen. We sincerely ask for you prayers for God to open the right doors or provide the funds that we are lacking, so that Jumbo's dad can be pain free.

We are so thankful for the way Warren is investing in the lives of the children by loving on them, visiting them, and meeting needs. We are seeing God's provision through them!