Today has been a very hard day for me; for all of us. Maybe one of my darkest days since we have started working here in Swaziland. I feel like packing up and leaving this country. I feel like I am done! Done fighting a loosing, hopeless battle. I am heartbroken, I am speechless, I am so angry. I don’t even now how to share this with you. We live in an ugly world, and I no longer want to be part of this.
My favorite little boy, the cutest little thing I fell in love with in 2007, little Mamba, went missing today and was found dead in the bushes a few hours later. He was only 7 years old.
The cold facts: He was killed by his stepfather. Hung in a tree. Then the stepfather committed suicide. Coward!
I don’t understand any of this. It is so unfair! An innocent boy? Why?
Hmmmmm, I remember ….. you crept into my heart that first day at the carepoint. You with your bright amazing smile. You were so cute and chubby (and almost always naked!). Your name meant ‘snake’, and your grandmother was warning me that you will bite me, just like a snake. But you smiled at me and jumped in my lap. You never bit me …. but you did try to bite the other kids that came too close to me. We shared many fun moments after that! Playing, sharing candy, laughing. Your face always light up when you saw me stop at the carepoint. You were the highlight of my visits at your carepoint. You became a legend.
Jumbo and Kriek,
Oh the cruelty of the devil. My heart breaks also. But what a gift you two were in his short life. Thanks God you were there.
Kriek, I have no words. I am praying and mourning with you.
This is terrible, heart breaking news. Injustice is frustrating and difficult to experience. Our hearts go out to Mamba’s family, you and Jumbo, all the staff and people who know and love Mamba. We trust God to work for the good of those who love Him in this evil situation. Our family is currently experiencing a relatively small amount of injustice ourselves, and it does make us want to quit. It is a position of weakness, but our Holy Spirit has promised to give us His strength and words to pray (Romans 8:26).
I hope Romans 8:18-30 is helpful and encouraging.
Our prayers and hearts go out for you and everyone involved in this difficult situation.
Oh Kriek, my heart breaks with yours. Praying for you and everyone over there. I can understand your feelings of hopelessness but God promises not to leave or forsake us. Take comfort in His arms and His promises.
Grieving for you, Kriek and little Mamba.
So sad, so disturbing, so heartbreaking. I am praying for you as you process this, for the other children at the carepoint, and for his family.
It shouldn’t be this way. Just a reminder to me that there is so much work left to do.
Imagine the difference you made in this boy’s life. He experienced true love through you!!
I was unaware that my heart could hurt this much….We fell head over heels in love with Mamba our first time at Thulwane and he just had to be our!! I am so grateful that Gos allowed us to be a part of his life… I know that we will have reunion one day…but until then my sweet boy, I will miss you so very very much…I love you.
Kriek – my heart is breaking. I don’t even know what to say other than I am angry & so grieved by how terribly afraid Mamba must have been. I want to ask God why…. I’m praying for you, Jumbo, the AIM staff and of course Mamba’s family. I’ve asked our Bheveni community to pray as well.
Kriek,
I believe you are feeling the broken heart of God, because you have loved like He loves. You have courage from Him. I am lifting you guys up in prayer.
Kriek…oh Sisi… I am so sorry. Tears in my eyes as I read this and process it – I just cannot believe it! Sometimes I focus so much on what could be in Swaziland…what will be someday… and all the HOPE that is there… that I forget just how dark it can be. And you fight that darkness everyday.
Praising with you that sweet little Mamba is in a place where there are no more tears, no more hurt, no more hunger….but grieving with you too at this injustice.
Oh Kriek, I am so sorry! My heart is feeling your pain and I am crying now. This is a hurting world and I cannot believe this has happened. I am praying for you and I know you make such an incredible impact on every child’s lives in Swaziland. Do not give up, the devil is fighting! Stay strong for you are making a difference. Everyday is a new day and God will reign! Keep the faith!
Kriek, I just read this and it is really hard to type with tears flowing. My daughter-in-law called & asked had I read this on your blog, at that time I had not. She wanted to know the names of our little boys we sponsor, and then she told me about Mamba, she was checking to see if this could have been one of ours. But sitting here I feel just as sad as if it was one of them. You and Jumbo have and continue to make a difference for these sweet children, but I can understand how you feel, but GOD is still in control and we know that Mamba is safe now. I wish we were there with you and just put our arms around you, we love you and Jumbo and of course Clara. Be strong, knowing that God has not finished His work there in Swaziland and He will continue to use ya’ll for His glory.
This breaks my heart…can only imagine what it must do to FATHER’S heart…
We’re heartbroken too. It’s a dark day. Everything in us wants justice, but how?
You guys are heroes who have fought the good fight. I’m believing that Mamba’s memory will be redeemed just as we’re fighting to redeem baby Moses’ memory.
Bless you guys – we’re praying for you.
I remember the day you introduced me to YOUR Mr. Mamba…he was so happy to see you he took his candy out of his mouth and stuck it in yours before you could stop him. He loved you, he adored you…he was presious, and beautiful and did not deserve this…no one could blame you for the way you feel…it is so wrong, so vile to hurt a child…I am so sorry Kriek,
crying with you,
Happenings like this can never make any sense. Just cling to Father, and receive His comfort – although I know His heart is breaking also. Only people who have had a very close loved one murdered can say “I know how you feel” – and I can say that. Only Father can heal this pain – and it takes time.
God bless you and Jumbo
When we lose one of the little ones we meet in different parts of Africa, it is always sad. Usually it is illness that overcomes their little bodies. To lose one in such a cowardly act is unthinkable and so senseless. The comfort I get is in knowing that they knew love in their short lives through the love of Christ in us. Bless you both and praise God that little Mamba is resting in the arms of The Father.
What a deep and tragic loss. Praying you will sense God’s presence and comfort in your grief. You’ve had to look into the face of darkest humanity, but thank God you were there to show this child a glimpse of His love. Bless you–
Kriek, As I read your post, I grieve too. But in the process, I glanced up at the picture in the top left of the blog with you and Jumbo and a bunch of kids. And there are smiles. You ARE making a difference. You ARE doing God’s work. There is evil in this world. It’s everywhere, here in the USA and in Swaziland. In Canada and Germany. In Japan. In Haiti. But so is God. Things appear dark now. But God is near. Let Him hold you. He is certainly holding Mamba. And remember this: in the end, He wins.
Kriek,
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God gives you and the rest that knew Mamba comfort. I pray that God will give you abundant strength to keep going. You have/and are making such a huge impact on the lives of those kids in Swaziland.
Kriek,
We haven’t even met yet, but please know that our team will be praying for you and Jumbo. It is obvious from the few posts I read that he was especially important to you. I’m so very sorry that the darkness seems to be surrounding you right now, but to us waiting in the US to meet you in Swazi and see what God is doing through you, you are literally the guiding light of Jesus. I can only imagine how much more warm and brilliant that loving light must be to the kids you encounter like Mamba everday!
Brooke
Kriek, I am crying reading your blog. I will pray for you and your family near and far as I feel a part of it. God is crying along with us. I pray our tears will turn in to hope… hope to have others join our cause of helping educate and grow toward our Lord and Savior.
Praying, speechless and heartbroken
Kriek,
I am weeping with you. It is so hard to understand God’s plan of redemption in the midst of such evil and injustice.
Lad Chapman and I had coffee yesterday and enjoyed sharing about you, Jumbo and the rest of our friends in Swaziland.
Kriek, I have no words to say why something like this would happen, only comfort in the fact the Mamba is no longer hurting and is with his true father. I pray for the Lord to wrap you up in His arms and comfort you as you walk through this. You are a light in a place that can be very dark. Praying for you and his family.
Kriek,
I don’t have words. Thank you for sharing this.
Oh…as many have already said , there are no words. In times like these I am reminded of the words that a Pastor spoke at the funeral of one of our church’s youth…we will not know the answer this side of heaven. I agree with you and others that Mamba is now with his heavenly Father and you showed him the Amazing love of Jesus. Praying for you and trusting you to the one who holds you in the palm of His Hand.
Love Brenda
I am so sorry. But this is the reason you guys must stay. You are making a difference! You made Mamba’s short life so much richer. May God heal your broken heart. Love you.
Jumbo, We are lifting you up in prayer. You stand at the tip of the spear of a spiritual battle that has been won and justice will be His.
I am blessed to work alongside.
Bob
Steven Curtis Chapman: “And the pain falls like a curtain On the things i once called certain; And i have to say the words I fear the most; I just don’t know…God is God and I am not; I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting; God is God and I am man; So I’ll never understand it all; For only God is God.” Matthew 10:21-22 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”
praying for you to grieve well, and for the God of all hope to crush Satan….. my heart goes out to you, and to all at the carepoint…. may Gods arms shelter you at this time as you have deep conversations with HIM….. this is horrible
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Love and Prayers for you all…
Dear Kriek, Jumbo, Mark, Scott and all other AIM missionary partners – I am horribly saddened by the news of this morning. I have been processing/sharing/crying throughout the day. I have been trying to imagine what Jesus felt(feels EVERYDAY) as he witnessed(es) this horrific act and thousands of other abuses against vulnerable children across the developing world. I certainly don’t understand it – will not even attempt to rationalize this – but I have to consciously anchor myself in God’s ultimate goodness. I choose to rest in the knowledge of what man intended for evil, GOD intends for good. He will redeem and restore.
YOU are making an eternal, transformational impact. Please do not grow weary; DO NOT lose heart.
Grieving with you – Laura
Ek is so jammer om te hoor. Ek het nie eers woorde nie.
Groete
Marcel
Oh, Kriek, I’m so sorry to hear about this. Please know that I haven’t forgotten you and Jumbo in my prayers, and I’m praying especially hard for you all now.
I love you all!!
very sad Kriek; I’m so sorry. God bless you and we’re praying for you.
Words fail here. This is painful. A slice of evil that can’t be accepted. Gives new meaning to depravity…and yet we know that God loves. Wow…how…deeply He loves. Can’t get past the depth of His love when we talk about this stolen innocence.
We are so sorry to hear this tragic news.
You have our love and our prayers, and may God be with you.
When God’s children die, they are immediately transformed out of the pain and turmoil of this world into the glorious presence of our precious and loving Heavenly Father.
We mourn with you at the passing of yet another loved one. We rejoice with you in the knowledge that Mamba has taken his rightful place on the lap of our Abba Father.
You are in our prayers and thoughts.
luvyabig
My heart grieves with you and all those affected by this. Words feel insufficient during these times but since they are all I have I want you to know how deeply sorry I am. May God’s presence be felt now more than ever with all of you.
Praying now, more than ever, for God to lift you up with His strength, peace and His grace that is sufficient for right now. Our hearts are broken and grieving with you.
Although you do not know me, our family has learned about your work in Swaziland through friends at our church. Know that we are crying out to God for His mercy and comfort to be with you during this painful time and grieving with you for this precious child. May He hold you and strengthen you with His grace and peace.
Oh Kriek and Jumbo, I am so very sorry. I am pray for Holy Spirit to comfort you Like only He can.
Love you guys.
Kriek,
There is so much evil in the world wherever you were to live. It is in the states, in South Africa, in Swaziland, in North Korea, in Iran, in Sudan…..all over the world. There are injustices that never seem to be justified. There are sorrows that are beyond our ability to understand. What I do know is that you and Jumbo are building up treasures in heaven that are beyond anything I will ever have. Don’t lose heart! God has chosen you to serve Him in Swaziland and to receive the blessing of being a part of His mighty work. When we look at pictures of our children just 3 short years ago and look at them now, we are astounded at the difference that your ministry is having. YOU are making a huge difference and do not let the enemy discourage you. Mamba is now in a place where there is total justice, total peace and total LOVE! The enemy can never hurt him nor make him feel unloved. I know that you know this. Just rest in the prayers of so many that love and support you and allow us to intercede on your behalf in this moment. We are at war but our war is not against flesh and blood. It will never end until Jesus puts all His enemies under His feet!!!
Kriek,
There is so much evil in the world wherever you were to live. It is in the states, in South Africa, in Swaziland, in North Korea, in Iran, in Sudan…..all over the world. There are injustices that never seem to be justified. There are sorrows that are beyond our ability to understand. What I do know is that you and Jumbo are building up treasures in heaven that are beyond our ability to count! Don’t lose heart! God has chosen you to serve Him in Swaziland and to receive the blessing of being a part of His mighty work. When we look at pictures of our children just 3 short years ago and look at them now, we are astounded at the difference that your ministry is having. YOU are making a huge difference and do not let the enemy discourage you. Mamba is now in a place where there is total justice, total peace and total LOVE! The enemy can never hurt him nor make him feel unloved. I know that you know this. Just rest in the prayers of so many that love and support you and allow us to intercede on your behalf in this moment. We are at war but our war is not against flesh and blood. It will never end until Jesus puts all His enemies under His feet!!!
I am so sorry. I’m speechless. I pray that the Holy Spirit will intercede and give you exactly what you need right now, moment by moment, each and every day. Life is just too hard for us to understand sometimes. God knows your pain. He hears you. He is right there. Like the verse says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
My only joy of the situation is that this little boy is now playing up in heaven… I know that if I was in your shoes I would be filled with nothing but rage, hate and anger. Maybe it is better that the step father is gone too because even now that he is gone he is trying to corupt or (take away) your love and passion from the children of Swaziland. Please be stronger than I know I would be. May God lay his hands on your heart
Jumbo & Kriek….our hearts have been heavy…our prayers have been with you! We pray Isa. 41:10 for you, that you would truly “not fear or be dismayed” & that you would be “upheld by HIS righteous right hand”!! Lindsey remembers Mamba & just wept at this news! We “weep with those who weep”….
My prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing Christ’s love with this precious child of His. Our only comfort in such tragedy is knowing that Mamba is with our Lord now, sitting at His feet, praising and worshipping Him.
Home from Swaziland yesterday and missing it very much! Was moved to tears and prayer when Dennis shared with us this news. Still praying and wondering how his mom is. Praising GOD in all this, that Mamba is in the perfect place…with Jesus!
I have no words. Only tears. And the faith that Mamba is safe with Jesus where no more tragedies will befall him.
My heart is broken and I grieve with you dear friends.
Thank you
Casting my cares before Him with you. We live in such a broken-down messed up world and the pain cuts so deep. I’m so sorry for your loss- it is all of our losses. Thank you for caring enough to fight for right in this hurting world. Days like this feel like they’ll break us, but I do believe you hurt so much just because you are indeed where you are suppose to be. You are a heroine, but some days the casualties of this war bruise our spirit. Praying for His comfort, mercy, and that peace of His presence that will help us when there is no understanding.
Dear Kriek…
All our hearts weep when innocence seems to be the victim. I think we all feel overwelmed in the face of such difficult odds and circumstances, but make no mistake, there is a reason that God has placed you incharge of his most precious possessions, the beautiful children you and Jumbo care so well for. I know its hard not to be discouraged when such things steal our joy, steal our hope, but know you are never alone in your anger and pain. We love you all and continue to hold you and all those precious lives God has charged you to love, up in prayer and in our hearts.
with Love…
Jason (Riverwood)
Kriek and Jumbo, I am heartbroken for not only this little boy and his mom, but for you and everyone who knows and has loved him for his short life. I know these things happen, but somehow this is more personal. May you find comfort in our Lord Jesus as you process and mourn the loss of Mambo. He was a beautiful little guy!! His smile is shining down now.
Kindest regards,
EWB
Oh, Kriek, I am sick at reading this email. I remember Mamba when he was four and five…my heart breaks for you and for everyone involved…I will ask others in Cambodia to pray for you and against the plans of Satan for the children of Swaziland…
Thank you for sharing. Praying for God’s will to bust through.