Tough Days
For the past few weeks I have been evaluating the progress and growth of the ministry; the good things we have done, but also the mistakes we have made. I have come to the realization that we will have to change a few things to be better stewards of what the Lord has called us to do and in other places we must just push thru. But every now and then there are a few tough days that you are just not prepared for.
Today was one of those days. It makes me think of the things that have happened here in Swaziland; things that want to stop me in my tracks, things that make me feel like running away; running away from this ministry, the people, this culture, this country. I immediately was reminded of little Mamba that was hanged by his stepfather, or the little baby boy that was found this week in a long drop toilet (the toilets we have at most of the care points; a big and deep hole in the ground with a toilet seat on top) down in Nsoko, or the mom sleeping with her two children in the rain after her house was blown down by a storm, or the conversation I had this morning with a mother of 7 children that just do not see an alternative to selling her body to provide for her children.
I felt so hopeless for her as she, for the first time in a long time, broke down and laid everything on the table. She is a widow and she has 7 children; all of whom comes to one of our care points. Four of her children she got after her husband died when she gave herself to try to make ends meet. Today I saw a mom that is at the end of her rope; a mom that is beyond desperate to try to do better so that her children would not be sent home from school for steeling other kids’ food … because their last meal was the previous day at the care point. A mom who wants her children to be safe, warm and dry in their home. A mom who feels she is all alone and has nobody to talk to about her struggles, a mom that is blaming herself for the bad decisions she has made after her husband past away. A mom that knows she is a bad example for her older kids, because they know and see what she does.
I saw a mom who wants to change; a mom who, even in the most difficult circumstances, has not abandoned her children. I saw a mom who wants to do better; a mom who wants to leave her children a legacy. I saw a mom who is ready to make a desperate change in her as well as her children’s lives. I saw a mom who is looking for just one opportunity to be better . . . in a country that has very few opportunities; a country that is hard and on its last legs if big change does not come. I cried with her as I listened and felt helpless. I know we are called to help the widow and the orphan, but how do I help her? What can we do for her right now and how do we help her without doing more damage? How do we help to bring a long term solution, not just bring temporary relief? Yes, we are feeding her kids, and yes, they come for discipleship and we have made sure her kids are in school, but how do we help her to get beyond a point of just surviving? A point where she will have pride in being a good mom?
I do not have all the answers, but I also don’t feel like we are not ‘getting it done’. As a ministry we are still moving and growing towards a place where we can be of help to a mom like this. We are not there yet, but it is coming. I have a deep faith in God’s character, and I know that He loves this mom like He loves anyone of us. And I need to trust that God will take this mom and the little help we can give and multiply it. I am reminded again today that this is God’s ministry and only He can make a way. God has been working in the hearts of so many people and we would not have been able to accomplish what we have without these people. God has not forgotten the people of Swaziland; He is actively continuing to bring His plan for this beautiful country to pass through every person that is involved in this ministry. It is my prayer that people will not lose their hearts for this ministry and for these people and stop being the hands and feet of Christ here.
Today was a tough day, but it was a tough day with Hope. I choose to not let the hopelessness of situations overwhelm me. I choose to believe in God’s grace and provision! I choose to believe that God will bring the people of this nation to a place where they will not just survive, but to a place of fullness and a place of life. I choose to believe that God will help us, so that Africa can take care of Africa.
Thanks for sharing your heart! I am praying for y’all today and the ministries you are a part of.
Hard stuff but a great list of good choices. We are with you in the battle!
Hi Carike, I feel for you and pray that Father God will continue using your brokenness over the people of Swaziland to bring about the change that is needed to help this country not only survive, but to flourish. Blessings
Hello Carike and Jumbo. I can well imagine living dad to day with all you shared can be discouraging. I know when Larry has been in Swaziland and other African nations he feels like you do and he doesn’t live there! I believe that all God asks is for us to care and to try to make a difference in the many lives. You have made a difference!! Can you imagine no care points? We keep you in our prayers and thoughts. We keep the children in prayer and thoughts as well. That counts for so much!
Love to you both!
E
Praying deeply for you – tears running down cheeks- both at the devastation and the perseverance- I am so grateful that you are ministering and KNOW that God IS using you deeply! I am praying for you to continue to be able to see the intangibles and to see the hope that is there, that is being seized upon and the good within this womans heart ….. pray8ingi that God will ontinually refresh you with HIS well of spiritual resources, and give grip to the plans that HE is birthing in you…. that deep traction and encouragment will flow through despite hard choices that you may have to make in the midst of the changes, and traction to push through….. know that you are HIS delight, and the people that you are ministering to are HIS treasured possesions….. He will be faithfull and walk alongside you even as you cry out. Crying out with you for God to bring about resources and strength….. and to specifically move in this womans life…. to provide a way out…. for her to see hope, for her to hear God’s delight in her as His creation, even as she perseveres in the only ways she know how- that healing will begin and a new personhood, and season of her life will blossom in Christ …. I continue praying in the Spirit, for the Spirit gives us the words, when words we know not in our limited wisdom – GOD BLESS YOU DEEPLY Jer 33:3, Rom 8
Words cannot express… I love you guys and will continue to ferverantly pray for you guys and the people of Swaziland that I fell in love with! God bless you guys. You’re not forgotten!
So very hard. I want to help other people feel what you feel and join with you in the effort to love those who so desperately need God to show up and answer their prayers.
As you know, we have so many of the same feelings. I hope you know that just because we will be leaving Swaziland in a few months, that we have not quit on what God is doing here. We’ll continue to be involved, just in a different way. God has been reminding me so often lately to trust in His sufficiency – that when I (or we) cannot do enough, when we cannot change people’s situations, that He is indeed enough. It’s so hard to see how Swaziland will see true transformation with all the layers of brokenness here, but we must believe that His grace is sufficient for Swaziland. We love you and are so thankful for your lifes commitment to the people of this place. God only called our family here for a short season, but He will call others. May Christ’s peace rest on you both today.
“God has not forgotten the people of Swaziland…”
He has not forgotten you and yours – the big wide “yours” who you love each day, listen to, extend grace among, and embrace.
This morning, in a careless attempt to seek the Father, I skipped over to this place and it filled me to weeping. It is in this heart of gratitude that I offer it to you – with continued prayers for you and the big wide “yours” of Swaziland.
“And God is able to make all grace about toward you, that you, always sharing all sufficiency in all things, have an abundance for every good work.” (2cor9:8)
praying.
We continue to uphold you all, Jumbo, Kriek, and the rest of the team before our Abba Dad’s Throne of Grace. His grace is able to carry us all through to the shadow of His wings. That safe place.
I “amen” Allie’s reminder:
“(Our) God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always sharing all sufficiency in all things, have an abundance for every good work.” (2cor9:8)
Superb! Generally I never read whole articles but the way you wrote this
information is simply amazing and this kept my interest in reading and I enjoyed it.
I have a group raising money for school funds – could they go to this family? Let me know if something like that would help.
Carike,
The love you have for Swaziland and its people is totally from God. The strength that wills you along in spite of the overwhelming odds against you is from God. The hope that you cling to is from God. He is so faithful. May God continue to sustain and pour his favor on you and Jumbo. I pray that the victories will come daily so you can see the hand of God in all you do. I love you both, don